My daughter is good at many things. But not great at anything that necessarily gets noticed. Like soccer or dance. She is kind, she is forgiving, she is funny, and she throws a tantrum like a professional.
I want her to have a few moments of immediate satisfaction ever so often. There are two reasons for this. 1) I notice she gets lazy. She does just enough to be good. When she gets "good job" comments from others she works harder. 2) It feels good. Mom and dad can give her "good job"comments comments all day. But when a teacher or coach say it to her, it is gold.
The thing about my daughter is she is forgiving. She will forgive and forget. It is ok if you never has say "good job" or recognize her great work. She won't feel great, but she won't feel be mad. She will just say "it's ok." Another thing she is great at. And another thing she won't be recognized for.
I am both proud of her and heartbroken for her.