Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sometimes I find myself negatively assuming things others I do not know.  Or don't know well.  Its one of my issues. I struggle with that everyday.  No. I do not want to be judged the same way.  I could blame my mom for this as she was very judgmental.  BUT I am an adult so I am not going to blame her.  I am going to try and rectify that.  I will not jump to a conclusion.  And if I do, I will challenge myself to fine 3 positive assumptions about that person.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Own the results

K "How many more bites do I have to eat" Me: "You want to know?" She nods yes. I get up from the table and find a set of dice and hand them to K. "You want to know, you tell me. Roll the dice." She does and gets a nine. No complaints. She's the one who rolled a nine after all. And nine will nearly clear her plate.
Earlier this month a young teen near Buffalo, NY killed himself. He had been bullied for years. His parents knew about it. His school knew about it. His friend knew about it. Each did what they, in their own way, could do about it. I guess.

I despised junior high. I was an outcast. I can't say I was bullied. I was ignored however. And I see that was the beginning of my years or depression. Is it selfish of me to think that way. How is being ignored so bad? I should be thankful I had not been bullied. Or even popular in the sense that I may have had friends who would have introduced me to things I was not emotionally or physically ready for.

Even in high school things were only slightly better. Our class had its group of mean girls. There were 12 girls in the entire class. Five of them were their own little group of mean girls. I can speculate as to why they did not like me much. But. They never bullied me. They were just mean.

This brings me to my point. We seldom know how our words or actions or lack there of will effect a person. Ignoring a person can be as mean as taunting them. I am not suggesting including every person to every event or every conversation. But simply saying hello or occasionally asking them to participate in a conversation could make a significant difference to them. I never wanted to go to the mall with those girls. But maybe just once being included in a conversation would have been nice. As long as they were not mean about it.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Stepping back

I am a creative person. Not clever like Martha or the Cake Boss. Just creative in a I-steal-ideas-from-others creative.

Everyday my daughter has homework.

Today I was given homework as well. And no its not one of my daughter's projects that Supermom will assist and finish in her slightly perfectionist way. Its a simple list. A list for 100 words she needs to know. The list is for us (mom and dad and kiddo) to use at home. Fluency practice, they say.

Super Mom screamed an overly enthusiastic "YAY!". Average mom mumbled "oh. yay."

Here is where I stepped back. I take a mental realistic picture of the potential outcome. If I go all out (Super Mom) with color coordinating paper, a perfectly selected font followed by laminating endless sheets of paper Great idea, right? Not likely. At first it will be a cool project until around word 34 (that is the word "what", by the way). Then it will be painfuly daunting. I will run out of the cool paper or laminating sheets (typical poor planning on my part). Once the project is finished (if it ever is). A few words will get lost. The words will be replaced by a 3 x 5 card and the word written on that. The card will never feel the heat of a laminating machine either. Poor sad & neglected 3 x 5 card (sounds like the life of most second children). Or (average mom) I will write the words on 100 3 x 5 cards and hand it over to my child for safe keeping.

Even if I do manage to make 100 colorful, coordinating & laminated flashcards, will my child recall fondly the time I did so? I am doubtful.

I want to create but I also do not want to make more trouble for myself. Super mom and average mom are beginning to fight this one out.

If you know me at all, you know what I will do in the end. I'll post photos soon.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Above all...

Kindness matters.

Focus on the Family's Thriving Family publication posted their family devotional on Facebook this morning. Here is an excerpt.

It's nice when we're noticed for doing good. But we shouldn't do good deeds simply because we want to be noticed by others. Jesus said, "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven" (Matthew 6:1). The reason why we do something (motivation) is just as important as what we do (good deed). True goodness is motivated by our love for God and our desire to please Him. Our love for Him is the best motivation for doing good because it brings God honor.

I am often skeptical of others intentions. I am not sure why, but I have a trust issue I guess. I am guilty of posting things on Facebook about what I have done for my kids or with my kids. Recently I posted on Facebook photos of owl cupcakes I made. Maybe you have seen them. I did that to show off. I was proud of myself. Is it possible that I did it also for the attention? The kudos and virtual pats on the back? Yes. I suppose its true.

I am going to challenge myself to post fewer pictures and comments about my super mom moments Facebook. I am going to try and do more super mom moments and not tell anyone about it.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Who are you?

I am a mom.
I am a wife.
I am a woman.
I am a volunteer.

I am a soccer coach.
I am educated.
I am a friend.
I am shy.
I am me.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I don't want to be crotchety.

Be Silly. Be Honest. Be Kind.

Being silly is natural for most children. Overtime, many people seem to misplaces their silliness.

Sit quiet.
Don't wiggle.
Stop laughing.
Don't jump in puddles.
Don't play with your food.
Act your age.

I dare say that just a few moments of silliness, especially without the kids, can be therapeutic. But where do we start? Is it ever too late to find your misplaced silly side before you become crotchety.